I Hate Your Favorite Game

I will not apologize.

There is a list of games.  These games are the “best” games of all time.  These games are your favorite games. These are the games that everyone with “good” taste likes.  The games that are console sellers, killer apps and must plays.  Games that you love more than some family members. I hate these games and I will not apologize.
Ok, maybe I am coming across a little strong.  I don’t hate every game that is popular or is a critical success, but sometimes it sure feels like it.  When I worked at Gamestop, I could depend on the fact that almost daily someone would come into the shop and start talking about some lamegame as if I cared. Here’s a free tip, I don’t.  So without further ado, here is the first in a list of games you’re wrong about.

Halo. I will despise this game till the end of time. Though I am man enough to admit that my rage towards this franchise is also compounded by my own stupidity and general lack of pattern recognition.  You can count on Microsoft running some of the coolest ads of all time whenever something comes out with “Halo” in the title.  You can also bet that every video game centered media outlet will also be covering it like the second coming. Without fail, whenever I see these ads and TV specials, I think to myself, “Maybe this time will be different. Maybe I will like this newest version of Halo.” It never happens.  I get the game home, play it a few minutes and then I remember that there are hundreds of FPS games that are better than Halo.

Maybe the fact that I grew up playing games like Tribes, Team Fortress, and Unreal Tournament left me spoiled, but when I played Halo: Combat Evolved for the first time, I literally said out loud “It’s ok.”  When people say “Halo was the first game to bring a PC FPS experience to a home console,” what they mean to say is “Halo is a watered down version of a FPS that is adequate for consoles, but would not have mattered if released on the PC.”  There is nothing that Halo does that hasn’t been done better many times over, and with games like Call of Duty, it has now even been done better on the console.

The multi-player is repetitive and doesn’t provide for a unique player experience.  The game forces you to play exactly like everyone else or get left behind.  Games like Tribes or Team Fortress encouraged players to find a play style that fit them and allowed people to be a benefit to their team even if they weren’t the best with the two or three most powerful weapons.  Halo is the NASCAR of shooters.  It has a stock character with a stock selection of weapons that only lets you turn left repeatedly.  Not to mention the online community that popped up around it is like a teenage tourette support group without all the laughs.

The story, while not terrible, is not original either.  It borrows a lot from other sci-fi over the years, but still offers a somewhat new feel to it.  But frankly, if you’re playing a game for this sort of story you need to play Mass Effect instead.

In the end you get a generic game with good graphics and a rabidly stupid fanbase. I should be clear, liking Halo does not make you stupid, but it does increase the likelihood. I don’t like your game, but hey, at least I have a diagram to support my opinion.

Say something... I dare you.